11. Rudely awoken, smears and the headache

At 7.43am I was sound asleep.

At 7.44am I was rudely awoken by my mobile phone ringing. On the other end was the gynaecology and obstetrics secretary who had been off sick for 2 weeks. I had to chase and call and leave messages everywhere for her as no-one seemed to be covering her job. She didn't apologise for the early call and rushed into an almost rant and incredibly random. I am not sure that she knew anything about me or what she was calling me about. At least she know that I had seen the surgeon about my womb area.

"Are you having a hysterectomy?"

No, no, I'm not but thanks for checking my file and notes before calling me. Thankfully she is not the surgeon doing my op or I could end up leaving without my entire womb and possibly a kidney or two. I explained that I was having my ovaries and fallopian tubes removed but that I needed to book an operation as soon as possible as I now had a date for my PBM (Prophylactic Bilateral Mastectomy). She wittered on about how they had changed all the waiting times and the rules and that it might be a problem. Is that really something I need to hear at 7.44am? Is this really something I need to hear about at all? Do you care? Do you think it would have been better to say, leave it with me and I will see what I can arrange and call you back rather than offloading at me because you are stressed that you have 2 weeks of work piled on your desk and you want to get my phone call off your list of things to do? I just want you to sort it out now please.

"Maybe they can do operation when you have your other surgery. It would save you having two general anaesthetics, but that's up to the surgeons."

Yeah, thanks for the suggestion, I would love to be under the knife for another 2 hours maybe, great. Then when I wake up I will have painful breasts, back AND groin region - nice one! Um hello?? How do you think I will be able to move? Do you think I want to be in hospital longer than necessary? No. Do you think I want to face what I have to face all at once? No, and thanks for the consideration.

Am I over reacting? No. She was vile. People skills, nil.

When she hung up I realised my dumbass cold headache was back and I felt crap again. Then I remembered that I had a smear test to look forward to. Yippeeeeenot!!

Not so bad, but I told the nurses that I was used to being groped these days and told them that I had just found out about my BRCA1. I told them that I was going to do surgery and explained that although it wasn't great news I was glad that I had a genetic cancer that they actually know about and they can do something to help me. They both looked quite awed, that's all I can say really. It was weird. As I walked home I realised that I had told someone other than my family and friends. It was an odd feeling. It made it more real.

I popped into the shop to collect some goodies for baking and the chemist for cold remedies..which I wish I hadn't. Beechams all in one gives me an intense headache. Not helpful at all. I'll stick to my hot honey and fresh lemon.

What a weird day it's been.