49. The dressings are OFF!

I have realised I use far too many exclamation marks!!! I am gonna try and give it up a little (if I can).

Not quite up to recalling my week in hospital but I will soon.

Today's update is that I had my dressings off. Everything looks clean and healing really well. I am so pleased. Voiced my concerns about the slight swelling around my left armpit and side of my breast which is where the muscle has been pulled forward under my armpit and into the breast skin. The right side looks amazing but the left will need a little more loving and softening to get it to 'relax'. I know it will take time but I am rather impatient but a realist too so I am not expecting perfection.

The pain of wounds and bruising has subsided immensely ovenight - weird! I am experiencing more middle back pain as I spend more time supporting my upper body sitting. My bottom is numb a lot from the amount of lying down and sitting I am doing but a quick get up and walk around is sorting that out. In saying that, having my arms hanging is quite painful in itself. My back is now compensating for the loss of the latissimus dorsi muscles and I will have to take it easy and do lots more physio. I think I will be ready to do some more advanced exercises in a few days. Things are so much easier today but the mammoth walk into the hospital and out again was slow and tiring. I was with my husband who is on forearm crutches and people would assume I was with him and not there for me. I became quite paranoid about being banged or knocked as people avoided the more obvious disablement of my hubby. The lift made me edgy - people jammed in and I sheilded my chest and thankfully had worn a nice puffy feather gilet which made me feel more protected from a knock.

My BCN (breast care nurse) is pleased with my results and said Mr Drabble has done a good job for me and it is all looking good but that I must take it easy.

Now that moments of comfort are appearing here and there it seems I can enjoy getting better.

I have had some days of sheer frustration, dropping things, can't pick them up, making my hubby bend down with his bad knees and help me. I thoroughly advise anyone who does the back muscle op to get one of those long reach grabbers for picking up small items that go to the floor - getting down there is hard work. My core muscles and glutimus maximus are getting a good workout I can tell you.

Anyway..all is good. 2 weeks of body torture are worth every moment I stop and remember that I don't feel the fear, the anxiety. It is totally priceless and drives you onwards, even when you think you can't get out of bed, or you can't sleep. The tiredness is the hard thing, it makes everything else so difficult but it seems to be fading now..just 11 days ago I was out of it..6 days ago I was in agony..today I feel good, twinging, aching, sore but good.

Today is a good day. And I got flowers from family and they are gorgeous. Never had so much nice post in my life, its like a prolonged birthday and it is so appreciated.

Something perks you up everyday. Surgery is hard - harder than I thought but the feeling is amazing and it makes accepting the body change so much easier. I have been given a life and I want to hug my consultant and everyone. I stopped a lady I recognised in the hospital who had only popped her head in once during my stay, I thanked her and told her I was doing well. She said I had got up and on my feet, coped and progressed so much quicker than most women they had seen. That made me feel good - I know I am doing well. I am so glad.

Whew...tired arms now..signing off.

BAck in the social scene again soon..at the moment, its all about me and I only have small time slots on the internet (hubby will kill me if I am on here too long: ) x)