43. All aboard! This train is going FAST FORWARD>>>

My phone rang earlier..Private, just missed it. I picked up the message left, it was my surgeon, Dr Drabble. He just said he would call back again or if I could, to call him or his secretary.

So, what could it be? Either a cancellation or a postponement of my operation date - logic says. I'm sure he wasn't phoning for a general chat.

I call the hospital and ask to be put through. Dr Drabble's secretary picks up the call and then tells me to hang on and she will pass me over to him.

"Hello Leigh-ann, now..you know we were planning your surgery for the 30th, well I am afraid I am going to be away for some time around then. I'm sorry, but we are going to have to move your operation date."

"Right.."

"We can bring if forward 2 weeks to 16th March."

"...oh..um..when is that?"

"That's a week on Monday. I know it will make it might make it more difficult for your hubby to be able care for you. What do you think?"

"I guess I'd rather have it done sooner rather than later. We will have to sort something out."

"We could keep you in hospital a little longer until you are feeling a little more able to cope, if it helps."

"Yeah..we will see what happens. I guess I am just a bit..well..you know..shocked. I was ready for 3 weeks. I guess it's okay. I won't see you before now, not until the surgery. Should I speak to the Breast Care Nurse instead?"

"Yes, we are making all the changes that need to happen here, to bring it forward so if you could speak with the BCN that would be good. We'll be in touch. See you then, Leigh-ann."

Okay...so someone pressed the fast forward button on my life. I had a minor panic attack, light headed moment after I got off the phone. My dumbass period and hormones mean I am very sensitive at the moment. Yesterday I wanted to cry in the job centre when, yet again, the dumbasses forgot to tell me I didn't need to drive all the way into the city, pay for parking and queue for 20 minutes. I was livid! 3rd journey in a month that they have wasted my time now. The whole place makes me edgy - if you can get beyond the frontline hardnuts and security guards (yes, security guards!), there are real people sat at desks, thankfully.

Chris popped in on the way through to pick up Max. We were both shocked and both a little tense about the date move, but - it will be fine. I am just worried about Chris and school and time off. He will be so knackered running around after me, school won't give him the time off and that's why it was planned for Easter. What a mess.

So here we are..9 days until I have to climb into a hospital bed. I just want it over..I want it over. It's been the longest time coming - eons in fact!

So..all my DIY plans, my gardening plans..all gone. No time left. To top it all off, the hoover had a big accident today. Dyson fell all the way down my steep stairs and dust poofed out all over the place..bits pinged off him and he lay, battered on the bottom step..parts strewn around. Only the pipe suction worked on it before and now..after the accident, he has little energy at all and is virtually on deaths door.

Dyson is just how I feel today. A little battered, had the wind knocked out of my sails but it's okay because I know there will be a replacement one day soon.

Just like my replacement boobs.

Give me strength to get through this week calmly. This is the beginning of the end.

Monday 16th March 2009 - Operation Boob Removal commences!