Friday, 28 November 2008

8. Weird thoughts

Ok, so I started thinking about the surgeon. He is human after all.

What if he has a bad nights sleep on the Sunday before my op? What if he drinks too much wine and feels a bit rough? Do surgeons drink lots of wine?

He looks like a nice, proud man. Neat and tidy with warm hands. I started to think about him a lot. He is going to be responsible for giving me new 'boobs' and chop up parts of my body. He is human and he has good and bad days too. I don't want to put pressure on him to do his best job ever but a secret part of me wants him to. I want to be his very best work! I am willing to show people the results, to share with others who are where I am today. Maybe he thinks that each operation he does is going to be his best ever? What the hell goes through his mind before an operation?

Should I ask him to join me for a beer? I could pick his brains, tell him to be a good boy over the weekend, take it easy, sleep well.. Is this me trying to control the situation as much as possible? sad.

So, should I? He could kill me or he could save my life, the least he could do is join me for a beer.

Crazy..but there you go. What colour socks will he wear? He looks like a funny sock kind of guy. Maybe I should buy him some so he can wear them on the day of the operation.

Yeah - I'll buy him some socks.


Lisa said...

It's ok to have the mad thoughts babe, and it's ok to want perfection. I went in with a view that at the very least, I'd be alive with no boobs, anything extra was a bonus. I'm really pleased with what they did. Not perfect, but amazing none the less.

Stay positive. If you need to talk or rant, you know where I am and I understand x